Pink gorilla feghoot

**TL;DR knock knock. Who's there? Argo. Argo who? Argo fuck yourself**

So a man is on a business trip through Romania. He had missed the train and so had to take his car instead. His car was around 20 years old and was not really up to the trip, but needing to close a deal for his company, he was determined to make it there on time.

So he started to drive down the highway. He spent an hour or so on the freeway and things were going well but he saw ahead there was a large backup in traffic. Not knowing how long this jam would take he uses his phone's gps to find an alternate route.

He exits the freeway and starts down a long two lane road that began to wind through the mountains. After many miles he begins to question weather this was really the best road he could have taken, but the gps said that in another 30 miles he would re-join the highway, so he continued on.

As he was driving he encountered a very steep climb up through a mountain pass. As he reached the top he heard a loud bang and the vehicle shook violently. He coasted just enough to make it over the pass and start downhill. He stopped at the peak of the climb and opened up the hood and being not very mechanically inclined, he had no idea what was wrong.

He got back in the car and tried to start the car but it just would not start. So he decided to try and coast down the hill and see how far he could get, or possibly come across a petrol station.

He coasted down the hill for almost a full mile and as it flattened out, slowly the car rolled to a halt. Having seen nothing within the Last ten miles he decides to try and call a towing company to get his car, but his phone has no signal and is almost dead.

So having seen nothing in the last 20 miles, he decides to lock his car and continue on foot to see if he can find someone with a phone.

He continues on foot for several miles till he sees a small driveway which shows no signs of recent use. He decides it's worth a shot to go check this out. He walks down this driveway for at least half a mile before he finds a massive iron gate connected to a large stone wall on each side. As he approaches the gate, the gate creaks and squeaks and slowly opens inward.

A bit startled, he cautiously walks through the gate and continues down the path. He hears a noise behind him and he turns to see the gate slowly swing shut and close with a loud bang. The man jumps at the sound and decides this wasn't the best idea, so he runs quickly back to the gate, but it is shut and refuses to open.

He decides to continue on and go find the house on this property. He walks for another 5 minutes before seeing a massive mansion looming in front of him. The front doors must have been 20 feet tall, and there were hundreds of windows and it was 8 stories tall with a tower on the far right side of the house.

The man slowly walks up the massive stone steps and through the huge pillars and right up to the large wooden doors. He finds the courage to grab the massive lions head knocker and knock on the door. Supprisingly quickly a short man in a butlers uniform opens the door.

"can I help you?" asks the butler

"yes I was looking for a telephone. My car broke down and I don't have cell signal and..."

"follow me." said the butler, sternly cutting him off.

He follows the small butler into the largest foyer he has ever seen with rich thick red carpets on the floor and gigantic iron chandeliers hanging from a ceiling so high it reminded him of a Gothic cathedral he had seen many years ago in Italy.

The butler shows him the telephone and telephone book and leaves him to call the towing company. The towing company is quite busy and because of the distance to his car from any major town, they are not able to send a truck till the next morning.

"what did they say?" asked the butler.

"they can't send a truck till tomorrow. Is there a chance I could mayb..."

"Right this way, we have many guest bedrooms." says the butler cutting him off again.

He follows the butler down a long hallway lined with suits of armour and shields with different coats of arms.

"geez," says the man, chuckling to himself, "do you have talking teacups and a monster for a Master?"

The butler responded with silence as he continued to lead him through the mansion. Finally, after what seemed like ages, they reached a lavishly decorated bedroom with a large four post bedroom and a Supprisingly large and modern bathroom.

"we have a full buffet just down at the end of the hall to your right, but before anything else, I need to show you something."

The butler then takes him back to the main foyer. He walks up to a giant Fireplace. He pushes on a big stone on the corner of the hearth and the back wall of the fireplace slides away to reveal a passage. He walks down this passage turns a corner goes down a set of stairs around another corner, back up some stairs and through a large door with a big brass knob.

In the middle of the room was a big cage with a pink gorilla sitting in one corner.

"you must never touch the pink gorilla!" said the butler as he quickly turned and ushered the man back through the doorway, down the stairs, around the corner, up the stairs, around the corner, down the hallway and out the fireplace.

The butler then quickly walked away and disappeared through a door that then locked.

Not sure what to think, the man goes back to his room and takes a long shower. After his shower, he goes to bed and tries to sleep, but he can't stop thinking about the pink gorilla. Why would that butler even show him the gorilla? It's not like he would have found the cage by accident.

He eventually decides he wants to go take another look. not to touch, but just to look. He had been going over the image of that gorilla in his mind and he couldn't decide if what he saw was real or not.

So he crept out of his room and down to the foyer. The fireplace was closed and he knew he would have to push the secret rock, but he didn't want to alert the butler or anyone else in the house. He tries to carefully push the button, making as little noise as possi...

SHHHOOOK BAM!

He froze and looked around to see if the loud noise woke anyone. Luckily it seems that no one heard or cared and so he slowly entered through the fireplace and walked slowly down the hallway. He went around the corner at the end of the hallway, down the stairs, around the other corner, up the stairs and then slowly turned the big brass doorknob.

The door opened with a loud creak and revealed the large cage with the pink gorilla now sitting in a different corner. He slowly walked around the cage untill he was at a point where the gorilla was a mere arms length from the cage bars. The pink gorilla was sitting there snoring, sleeping like a baby. By this time, the man had decided he had to find out what would happen if he touched the gorilla. So he slowly reached in the cage and softly poked the gorilla in the arm. He stood there waiting for the gorilla to react but nothing happened. So he reached out and poked the gorilla a bit harder. This time the gorilla moved to scratch the spot he had touched.

The gorilla then awoke. Sniffing his arm he uttered a low guttural growl. The man quickly withdrew his arm and headed for the door. The gorilla then released a long loud cry and started going crazy at the bars of the cage. He started actually bending the bars, getting it close to where he could actually get out. Then he ripped one of the bard off and howled again. At this point, the man, terrified, started sprinting out the door. He ran as fast as he could, down the stairs, around the corner, up the stairs. As he reached the top step he could hear the gorilla starting down the stairs behind him. He ran even faster down the hallway and out the fireplace.

He frantically started mashing the secret stone to get the fireplace to close. And as if in slow motion the back began to slide back in place. It moved so slowly that the man wasn't sure it would close in time. As bit was half closed he saw the gorilla round the last corner. In a mad hope to get it to close faster he started mashing the button again but to no avail.

Just as the massive stone was about to close the gorilla puts his hand in the small Crack left open. He slowly started pulling the large stone wall back open. Terrified, the man ran out the front door and sprinted back down the driveway. He came to the iron gate and again it wouldn't open for him. So he began to climb.

He got to the top and as he climbed over he heard the gorilla's cry and being so startled he fell down on the other side of the gate tearing his new clothes in the process. He stumbled down the driveway towards the main road and as he looked back he saw the gorilla climbing up the gate.

Running as hard as he could he ran back to the main road and then back towards his car, the gorilla not far behind. He finally reaches his car exhausted, he tries to start his car but it just won't start. The gorilla running up to the car as he tries again to start the car. The gorilla roars and the man reaches over and pushes down the lock by his shoulder and tries again in vain to start the car.

The gorilla then starts to push and rock the car, violently shaking the car. He eventually rips off the driver side door. The gorilla then leans down and roars right in the man's cowering head, spewing phlegm all over his face and shoulders. The gorilla then reaches his arm into the car and pokes the man in the shoulder and says,

"you're it."