“It’s your Attitude; not Aptitude, that decides your ALTITUDE”

A first-grade teacher, Ms Janet ( Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked,”Little Johnny what is your problem?”

Little Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Ms Janet had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal’s office.

While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Janet he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Little Johnny: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Little Johnny: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Janet and tells her, “I think Little Johnny can go to the third-grade.”

Ms Janet says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?” The principal and Little Johnny both agree.

Ms Janet asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Little Johnny, after a moment “Legs.”

Ms Janet: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Little Johnny: “Pockets.”

Ms Janet: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Little Johnny: “Pants”

Ms Janet: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Little Johnny: Coconut

Ms Janet: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Little Johnny was taking charge.

Little Johnny: Bubblegum

Ms Janet: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…

Little Johnny: Shake hands

Ms Janet: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Little Johnny: Yep.

Ms Janet: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Little Johnny: Tent

Ms Janet: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large swig of Cognac.

Little Johnny: Wedding Ring

Ms Janet: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Little Johnny: Nose

Ms Janet: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Little Johnny: Arrow

Ms Janet: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?

Little Johnny: Firetruck

Ms Janet: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.

Little Johnny: Fork

Ms Janet: What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?

Little Johnny: TALK

Ms Janet: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?

Little Johnny: SURNAME

Ms Janet: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Little Johnny: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send Johhny to Harvard University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”