I got this old mule in the barn...

A tough, bearded man comes down from the mountains after a hard year of hunting and trapping, and stops at the only outfitter for many miles around.

"I'll be needin' some black powder and dry goods, and canned food," he says to the owner, "also, well... I been up in them mountains a long time..."

"Say no more," replies the owner, "I got this old mule in the barn..."

"Oh, no! No, no! Never mind, just git me my supplies and I'll be on my way."

"OK, if you're sure," says the shopkeeper, who gathers up the goods and watches the trapper head back to the mountains.

The next spring, the trapper returns to replenish his supplies and says again,"Sure has been lonely up there. Is there anywhere a fella could find some companionship?"

"Well, like I said 'afore, I got this old mule in the barn..."

"Ah, no. I'll just take my goods and be gone."

"You sure? It ain't that hard to..."

"No, thanks."

And with that, the trapper departed for another year.

The following spring, the burly mountain man returns. After picking his gear and food, he says bashfully,"You still got that mule?"

"Sure do," replies the shopkeep, "and for $2 you can..."

"I know what to do... here's your two bucks."

As he turns to leave, the shopkeep asks, "Now, you sure you know how to..."

"Yeah, I got this."

So the shopkeep goes about the business of the store, when he hears a terrible braying and kicking from outside. Rushing out to the barn, he sees the trapper engaged in an unnatural act with his mule.

"What in tarnation are you doing? You're supposed to ride him to the whorehouse in Payne Gap, about 10 miles from here!"