The Top 12 Things Ovepheard at the Masters Golf Tournament

12> "Women clearly slow up the game. Taking a leak in the trees behind the eighth tee takes them THREE TIMES as long as it takes a man!"


11> "Ma'am, I only called you a 'hooker' because your tee shot slanted off to the left... oh, forget it."


10> "What'll these broads want next -- the right to *vote*?!?"


9> "According to the new Augusta information minister, Tiger Woods was captured, Martha Burk is now running the tournament and an infidel named Arnold Palmer won by 10 strokes."


8> "He says it's to silence that Burk woman, but something tells me Hootie's making all of us wear dresses for his own benefit."


7> "Martha, if Anna Kournikova played golf, I think we could work something out."


6> "The day a woman wins this thing, you'll see Prada shoes and a Versace purse make that green jacket look GOOD."


5> "After we've won this battle for women's suffrage here in Augusta, we will press on to confront even a greater injustice! We will not rest until we have won our sisters equal representation in the Tolkien Societies of America's high schools!"


4> "Look, here comes Hootie and the Blowhards."


3> "It's never enough for those damn lib'rals... we already let the black kid in!"


2> "Mr. Mickelson, the PETA representative says your Haitian voodoo doctor must release the chicken."


1> "Dude, are you sure those tickets said 'Masters of the Universe'? Skeletor would never wear yellow plaid pants."