Hilarious Telemarketer "Exterminator"

The first ones are in a script style format.


1.
Telemarketer: Hello I'm calling from X Co.
You : OH! Omni! Omni!
Telemarketer: I'm [Bill] not Omni.
You : No [Bill]! Omni Omni!
(rinse lather repeat if necessary)


2.
Telemarketer: Hello! This is [Jill] from X Co. Is [Tom]
available?
You : Oh! Sorry. [Tom] doesn't go on dates.
Telemarketer: No No! I just want to talk to him!
You : (He's or she's) married already.
Telemarketer: I'm married too! I just want to talk to him
about...
You : (coming in abruptly) You want to have an affair!
You nasty little brute!
(hang up)


3.
Telemarketer: Hello I'm calling from X Co. Would you be
interested in...
You : (coming in abruptly with a deep voice) This is
God!!! I have no money! Leave me!
(hang up)


The following you have to make up as you go.


1. Pretend you have lost your hearing aid. Yell for somebody to
help find it fr youand keep telling the telemarketer to speak
up.
2. Pretend you have no teeth. Talk like an old person.
3. Pick up the phone and play a recorded version of, "If you'd
like to make a call. Please hang up and try again. If you
need help hang up and call your operator."
4. Pick up phone and leave it off the hook while you work.
5. Think of a celebrity that matches your telemarketer and ask
for their autograph. Example: "Oh! Britney Spears! I have all
your CD's. Give me your autograph! PLEASE!!!!"
6. Pretend to be another telemarketer selling a different
product.
7. Pretend your child is asleep.
8. Pretend to be a kid and say your Dad is in the restroom and
your mom went shopping.
9. Play children songs until they hang up.
10. Turn on the radio near the phone and play static.
11. Pretend to be a drunkard.
12. Stuff a lot of food in your mouth before answeing the phone.
13. Make up smething like,"The California State Constitution
says all people have the right to privacy!"
14. Say you don't want anything but you would like a doughnut.
15. Scream and yell,"A snake! A snake! It bit me! I'm gonna die!"