Hero Pig.

So one day a man is driving along in his car, and he gets a flat tire. Now, luckily, he gets the flat right in front of a farm. So he gets out of his car, walks over to the farmhouse, knocks on the door, and the farmer steps out. Now, the man starts talking to him about his flat tire, but he can't help but look over at the fields and see a three-legged pig. So he finishes up telling the farmer about his flat tire and he says: "Oh, by the way, how'd that pig over there lose its leg?"

The farmer says, "that pig, over there?"

"Yep."

"In the fields?"

"Mhm."

"With three legs?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why," the farmer announces, "that there's a hero pig! Yessir, that pig saved my life. You see, one day in the winter I was out fishing in the pond, when I fell right through the ice! And that pig comes rushing down the hill, dives right into the freezing water, and drags me out. Saved my life."

"Wow," the man says, "what a brave pig to dive into that water, save your life, and lose a leg in the process!"

"What?" says the farmer, "no, no, no, that's not how he lost his leg!"

"Then how'd the pig lose its leg?"

"You mean that old pig?"

"Uh, yeah."

"That one grazing over there?"

"Yep."

"The one I just told you about?"

"That's the one."

"Why, that pig's a hero pig, I tell ya! Saved my life! Y'see, one day the chicken coop caught on fire, and that there hero pig bolted in, pulled me out, pulled the chickens out, and by God he saved all the eggs, too."

"Man, that pig really is a hero, to save you, the chickens, the eggs, and lose a leg while doing so."

"Pfft, that ain't how it lost its leg."

"Then how'd that pig lose its leg?"

"That one?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"The one with one missing leg?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"The one you're pointing to?"

"That's the one."

"Why, that there pig's a hero pig! One day two robbers broke into my house and stuck my wife and I up! And just as they were about to pull the trigger to shoot us, by God that pig came barreling in, knocked the gun away, and bit the fiends until they were off the farm!"

"My God, that is a truly brave, noble, and heroic pig, to save you and your wife and get its leg shot off in the process."

"That ain't the way it lost its leg!"

"Oh, come on! It dragged you out of a pond, saved you from a fire, chased away your would-be killers, how on Earth did that pig lose its leg?"

"Oh, you mean that pig?"

"Yes, that pig."

"That one over there?"

"Yup."

"You sure?"

"Yes, yes."

"Well, you see, a pig that good, you can't eat all at once."