"Peter, in order to accommodate all those who deserve the luxury of heaven, you must now ask them how they died. If it is tragic enough, you may grant them entry."
"Very well," complies St Peter.
After a time, the first soul arrives and St. Peter exclaims, "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven. In order to grant you admission, I must hear the story of your passing."
The first gentleman says, "Well, I had suspected my wife of cheating on me while I was away at work, so today on my lunch break I made a surprise visit home and saw a strange car in my parking spot. I burst through the front door of our apartment and rushed into our bedroom. There I saw my wife naked in bed and I started screaming 'WHERE IS THE SON OF A BITCH.' I looked out on the balcony and saw fingers grasping onto the ledge. I ran out and started stomping on this guys hands until he fell, but the bushes around our building broke his fall, so in a rage I pulled our refrigerator over and dropped it on his head. I was so worked up about what I had just done that I had a heart attack and died right there."
Peter says, "That is sufficient. If you repent you will gain entry to the Kingdom of Heaven." The first gentlemen does so, the gates creak open, and he enters.
Moments later a second soul arrives. St Peter says, "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven. In order to grant you admission, I must hear the story of your passing."
The second gentleman says, "Well, I was doing my mid-day exercises on my balcony when I lost my balance and fell over the railing. Luckily I caught hold of the balcony directly below mine, but as soon as I started to pull myself to safety a man stormed through the sliding door and began stomping on my fingers. Unable to keep my grip, I fell four stories into some bushes which broke my fall. I looked up just in time to see a refrigerator tip over the edge of the fourth floor balcony, and the next thing I know I'm here."
St Peter says, "That is sufficient. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven."
No sooner does the second gentlemen enter Heaven, when a third soul appears in front of St Peter.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven. In order to grant you admission, I must hear the story of your passing."
The third gentleman throws his hands up and exclaims, "ALRIGHT!! SO I'M NAKED INSIDE A REFRIGERATOR...."
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