Good Things to Say When You're Stressed at Work

Good Things to Say When You're Stressed at work:


1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!"


2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"


3. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"


4. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"


5. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."


6. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"


7. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"


8. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."


9. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."


10. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"


11. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"


12. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."


13. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."


14. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."


15. "Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"


16. "Chaos, panic and disorder... my work here is done."


17. "You look like sh!t. Is that the style now?"


18. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."


19. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."


20. "If assholes could fly, this place would be a fuckin airport.