You Might Be A Redneck...

What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
'Hey y'all... Watch this!'


How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas:
Hey Baby! Nice tooth.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the last three words of the national
anthem is 'start your engines.'


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
One of your kids was born on a pool table.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the stock market has fence around it.


You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the
dump and bring back more than you took.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow... but she can't touch it 'til she's fourteen.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
The figurines on top your wedding cake were wearing overalls.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your favorite restaurant has a sawdust floor


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever burped and killed a fly


You Might Be A Redneck If...
There were dogs in the church on your wedding day


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You're saving up to gravel your driveway.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever bought a used cap.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You turn the sprinkler on and tell the kids
it's a water park.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever had to have a wrecker pull your car
out of a pothole in your driveway.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your wedding cake was made by Sarah Lee


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever had a dream about beef jerky.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Winn-Dixie catered your wedding.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your not actually able to read the Richard Petty Story,
but you sure like to look at the pictures.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever tried to pass an entire funeral procession.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your driving a vehicle with no original body parts.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
In preparation for a romantic evening, you stop by the
grocery store for a bottle of Mr. Bubble.


You Might Be A Redneck If...
The fireworks stand gives you a volume discount.