Good, Bad and Worse

Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.


Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.


Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.


Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.


Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.


Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.


Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.


Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.


Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.


Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.


Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.


Good: The secretary said "yes."
Bad: Your wife says "no."


Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: He's gay.


Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: So did the postman.


Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in.


Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.


Good: You get tickets to the theatre.
Bad: It's performance art.


Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.


Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.


Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
Bad: For real.


Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.


Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.


Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.


Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.


Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It's counterfeit.


Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
Bad: Your daughter's the star.


Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.


Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.


Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.