God's sitting up in his ivory tower, he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being number one, so he's decided to go on holiday.
He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop round to discuss a few suggestions over a pint and a joint.
'What about Mars?' says one of them.
'Nah, I went there 15,000 years ago,' says God. 'It was shit, no atmosphere and too dusty.'
'What about Pluto?' suggests another.
'Nah I went there about 10,000 years ago,' says God. 'F***ing freezing.'
'What about Mercury then?' says another.
'It's nice but I went there about 5000 years ago. I nearly burnt me bollocks off it was that hot. Never again,' says God.
'Well what about earth then?' suggests another.
'You must be joking,' says God, 'I went there about 2000 years ago, shagged some Israeli bird, and they're still f***ing talking about it.'
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.