Funeral Speeches

Three men went up to heaven to meet with St. Peter, but upon
arival, they are told that only 33% of the people trying to get
into heaven were being allowed because heaven was getting
overpopulated. To decide who of the three got in, St. Peter went
to the first man and asked him, "If you were to have anybody say
anything at your funeral, what would it be?"


"I would have somebody say, 'He was a great doctor and a great
man. He was deticated to his work yet he always had time to be a
great family man. He helped the community and everybody in it in
many ways. We are all better people because he exsisted.'" "That
is very nice," said St. Peter.


He went to the second person and asked the same question. "I
would have somebody say, 'He was a great lawyer who upheld the
constitution and fought for what was right. He was the kindest
man alive who always thought about others before himself. He
cared for his family as well as everybody else around him, and
his death is a great loss to all." "That is very, very nice,"
said St. Peter.


He went on to the third person and asked him the same question.
"I would have somebody say, 'LOOK, HE'S MOVING!'" The third
person was the only one who got in.