Fun Things to Do on a Bus

1. Swing from the metal railings on the ceiling, singing, "I'm a
monkey! Ooga Ooga!" If there are people with groceries, steal
their bananas.


2. When someone sits down next to you, take out your cell phone
and start saying ominous things like, "I found the bomb. It's on
this bus." or, "I'm surrounded. Send in the artillery."


3. Go up to one of the other passengers and say, "I know all
about what you've done. We've been tracking you for a long
time." See if you can get them to confess anything.


4. When someone sits next to you, strike up an argument with
yourself. Escalate the argument, and finally start punching
yourself in the head. See how long it takes them to leave.


5. Every 5 minutes scream "WE'RE GONNA CRASH! TAKE COVER!" and
hide under a seat. When the bus keeps going, peek out and
whisper, "It's magic!!"


6. Stand in the middle of the aisle, stare at the little lights
on the ceiling, and say, "I have seen the light, Obi-wan."


7. Keep looking at the bottom of your shoes and saying, "Ewwww,
gross."


8. Lift up the seat cushions and say, "How are you doing, little
guys?"


9. Save seats for imaginary friends.


10. Stand in the front of the bus and announce, "I am the knight
who says... NEE!!" Say "nee" to all the passengers and ask them
for shrubberies.


11. Go up to someone, poke them, say, "You're it!" and start
scurrying around.


12. When someone sits next to you, poke them repeatedly, saying,
"Poke!" loudly each time, and see what their reaction is.


13. When boarding the bus, ask the bus driver, "Can my pet tree
come too?"


14. Wear a backpack and whine, "But mommy, I don't WANNA go to
school!"


15. Eat invisible food, making obnoxious smacking noises. When
the bus driver says no food allowed, hold it behind your back
and whistle.


16. Ask everyone on the bus "Have you seen my (insert small
furry rodent/insect/huge dangerous animal)?"


(These also work on the train)