Evan Williams: the rough ass Trash Whiskey

Imagine all the other hard liquor and cocktails. Having an early evening happy hour. A late afternoon soiree, if you would.

Evan Williams would be the drink that shows up drunk and uninvited.

"Jim Beam, I am so glad you could make it, COME IN! COME IN"

Evan replied, "Oh thank you, Jack Daniels. Yes, it's been so difficult with the kids and work and all and..."

Jim Beam. "Dear, God, is that Evan Williams?"

"Make way for the mayor of Fuckinyourpussy Town!", said Evan Williams."Hey Sugar tits, how about throwing a pity fuck ole Evan Williams way!?"

"My name isn't, sugar tits, it's Bacardi Limon."

Evan Williams replied, "I find you a little less talk and a lot more pity fuck, pity fuck. I'm gonna make your butthole look like Seal's cheeks!"

"Evan Williams! You are making a scene!" Makers Mark shouted.

"Oh look at me, I'm Maker's Mark! I think I'm a big deal 'cuz I'mma sippin' whiskey!" I'm the one with the college education!" "Well sip on my dick, you Ivy League, Good Will Huntin', mother fucker."
Sip, Sip, Sippy cup on my University of Phoenix online freedom ride!"


"Evan, Evan what are you running from?"

"The police! I stole a copy of Space Jam"

"No Evan, what are you really running from?"

"I'm running from myself, I'm running from myself!"
singing, "In the arms of the angel far away from here"
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!"
"What happens in Bay City follows you home and accuses you of rape"

"Someone call Evan Williams a cab and someone get him to stop fucking my wife's purse??!!" Maker's yelled!

"I dont need to ride a cab! I'm already riding Coach!" Evan ranted,"Purse pun, why not, fuck one? High Five!"
"No cumming in your wife's make up! Princess Diana: inside job, Sandusky, clear minds, full hearts, can't lose, Texas, forever."