At a country club tennis court, a man clutches his elbow in pain...

He says to his friend, "Geez, my elbow aches. I think I should see a doctor about this".

The friend says, "Well before you do, why don't you try that machine in the locker room. You pee in a cup, and it writes you a prescription!"

Although skeptical, the man agrees to try out the machine. He pees in a cup, puts it into the machine. After some whirring and beeping, it prints out a prescription form. The paper reads,
"You have tennis elbow. Ice 2x a day and rest it for 2 weeks."
The man is astonished! He immediately races home in excitement.

He thinks to himself that he can trick the machine. He has his wife pee in the cup, then his son, then his daughter. He even has his dog pee in the cup. And for good measure, he decides to put his own semen in.

He drives back to the country club excited to stump the machine. He sticks the cup inside. It whirs and beeps and clunks. After a few minutes, it prints out another prescription form. It reads,

"Your wife is pregnant with another man's baby. Divorce her.

Your son uses heroin. Send him to rehab.

Your daughter has gonorrhea. Get her antibiotics.

Your dog has worms. Take him to the vet.

And if you don't stop jacking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!"

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