A young cowboy, new to town, walks into the saloon wanting to make an impression. There's a pianist with his back to the cowboy playing a tune. There are two candles on either end of the piano.
The young gun draws quickly and shoots out the candle on the left hand side. The bar goes silent, but the pianist keeps on playing. So the cowboy draws again and shoots out the right hand candle. There are gasps from the bar, but the pianist keeps playing. So the cowboy draws and shoots the hat off the pianist ... but he just keeps on playing.
Dejected, the cowboy sidles up to the bar and orders a drink. The barman looks him in the eye and says
"Son, can I give you three pieces of advice"
"sure"
"Firstly, I notice you shoot from the hip. You should file down the sight on your gun, 'cause you don't need it and one day it will catch on your holster and get you in trouble"
"Secondly, get rid of the trigger guard, cause if you're in a fight, you need to shoot as quickly as possible and one day that might just mean the difference between life and death"
"Thirdly, you should cover your guns in vaseline"
"Vaseline? Why?"
"Cause when Wyatt Earp finishes playing the piano, he's gonna shove those things up your ass"
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