The Homeless Pianist

A homeless man is walking along the street when he sees that the local bar is looking for a new pianist. He walks in, sits at the piano and starts to play.

The owner hears him from the back room and is blown away. He walks up to the man and waits for him to finish playing.

"That was amazing," said the owner. "What is it called?"

"'Tits and Ass'".

The owner is slightly put off, but before he can say anything the pianist starts playing a second piece, even better than the first. He waits until the pianist is finished before asking again for the name of the second piece.

"'Fuck Her Slowly,'" replies the pianist.

The owner is hesitant, but decides that this is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"I tell you what," says the owner, "come back tomorrow night and play these pieces again and I'll pay you, but please, for the love of God, don't say the names of the songs."

The homeless man agrees, and sets off down the street.

He returns the next evening, and is presented with a large crowd. He sits down and plays both pieces, to tumultuous applause, but when he stands up to bow, his penis is clearly hanging out of the front of his trousers.

One of the audience members decides to point this out.

"Oi! Do you know your dick is hanging out?"

A wide smile develops on the pianists face.

"Know it?", says the homeless man, "I *wrote* it."