Clinton Stuff

Have you heard of the new Bill Clinton computer?


Six inch hard drive and no memory.


Q : What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?


A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!


A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"


Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."


Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?


A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.


Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?


A: None, they are too busy screwing the President.


Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?


A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.


Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?


A: When Hillary is out of town.


Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?


A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.


Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one."
If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?
Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...?" Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected...'"
Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.
The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of sh.. that he can't fly.
Isn't putting Bill Clinton in charge of a trust fund as insane as putting in a draft-dodger as Commander in Chief?
Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: Integrity, vision, and wisdom.
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else."
Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? -the Spread Eagle
As Air Force One prepares to land, the Captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?"
Clinton's team of advisors have offered the following defense...Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in disposition! He told her to lie in THIS position....
Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% said "Not again."
The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that 'harass' was one word.