Things not to say on your Valentine's date...1. Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra? 2. I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. 3. No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin. 4. I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you. 5. People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell. 6. I used to come here all the time with my ex. 7. I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it. 8. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour. 9. I like clay. It's mushy. 10. I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look. 11. And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest. 12. I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask. 13. It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
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