Redneck Computer Lingo


"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and
pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard
stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to
get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or
girlfriend.
"Bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
across the porch long ways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"Packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.

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