Chapter 3: The attack of the Man-Ape!

Two weeks have passed since that day at the dojo and each day passed as slowly as the one before it. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored it's not even funny. That butt-chinned boy has been as persistent as a fly; he's so annoying! I wish eh would just shoo off!

Everyday he comes up to me and begs to be my disciple. He tries to woo me with his "moves" he tries repeatedly to show off his skills to me so I can take him in as my student.

"You will agree to take me in as your student when I show you my technique!"

"You said that last week, and the week before that. What next? Butt-chiseled punch? Or Super-Butt-Kick? I'm sick of it!"

"No. This technique will surely wow you!"

"Fine. Just get it over with."

"Ok. Here goes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

He assumes as stance as he yells like a screaming monkey. What is this buffoon up to now?

Before he could show me his new "technique" a giant ape-like creature jumps from behind and punches him to the ground.

"OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The butt-chinned boy's face is slammed in the concrete. This creature has the appearance of a giant humanoid ape. His body is covered in fur yet his features are strikingly human-like. He has a nose, two eyes, hands with thumbs, ears, oh--wait monkeys already have that. Never mind a giant monkey is in front of me.

"I am a monkey who loved humans so much I turned into a human. Now that girlfriend broke up with me I will destroy the world!" The giant monkey whacks his chest like a gorilla. I guess he is a gorilla. "Can you believe it! She called me a monkey! She said that she wants a human! After all what I did to her she wants a human! That's why I will destroy the world! And take REVENGE!!!!"

"Oh I see."

"Prepare yourself HUMAN!!! Prepare to suffer the wrath of my heart-broken fist! I am the Man-Ape!"

The primate leaps at me with his fist positioned to punch.

"Too slow." I easily dodge his fat knuckles. He tries to hit me by punching repeatedly. "Too slow."

"You there MONKEY! Get your hands away from my master!" The butt-chinned boy gets up after being slammed to the ground by the Man-Ape."Watch master as I beat this ape into a pulp!"

"Hahahahaha!!! You think that your puny little fist can match my majestic knuckles? Fool I will bury you right hear and now!"

The butt-chinned boy runs at Man-Ape and kicks him in his stomach. The monkey tries to pound him to the ground, this time the butt-chinned boy dodges his attack and jumps up and kicks him in his cheek. Th butt-chinned boy leaps up at him and punches Man-Ape in the cheek. Man-Ape uppercuts the butt-chinned boy in his stomach. Drool is basted from his lips as pain shoots up through his abdomen. Before he plummets to the ground once more the butt-chinned boy grits his teeth together and screams.


"MASTER! I will show you my new secret technique!" He lifts his chin in the air and "Chin-butts" Man-Ape in the bridge of his nose. "Super-secret technique: Ultimate flaming phoenix chin-butt!!!!"

"AAAAARRGGHHH!!!!" Man-Ape falls to the ground in pain. Both of them are in pain. "That actually hurt! But in the end I win!"

The butt-chinned boy is unconscious from the impact of his "ultimate technique". I don't really know why I saved him but I guess I felt bad for him.

I grabbed Man-Ape's fist just as he was about to pummel the butt-chinned boy into oblivion.

"Are you done with this?"

"No! I will bury you next!"

"Oh I see."

I punch Man-Ape in his stomach and he immediately goes flying back into a concrete wall.

"How...can this...I lost?"

"No...I just didn't lose."

After a while both Man-Ape and butt-chinned boy stand up.

"I am sorry for the damage I did. What is your name?'

"I am Can't-Lose Man."

"Can you please accept me as your student! I still have much to learn in the ways of being human. Please!"

Oh come on! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!