An old man takes his grandson to the bar. The grandfather orders a whiskey, takes a swig, then puts it down.
The kid asks, "Hey grandpa, can I have some of that?"
Grandpa replies, "Does the tip of your dick reach the cheeks of your ass?"
"Nope."
"Well there's your answer."
After a little while of drinking, the grandfather pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up.
The kids asks, "Hey grandpa, can I get one of those?"
"Does the tip of your dick reach the cheeks of your ass?"
"Nope."
"Well there's your answer."
So after a little while they get tired and pack up to go home. On the way home they stop at a little store, and each buys a lottery ticket. Grandpa scratches his and wins nothing.
The grandson scratches his and wins $5,000.
Grandpa asks, "Hey kid, can I have some of that?"
"Does the tip of your dick reach the cheeks of your ass?"
"Sure does."
"Well then you can go fuck yourself cuz you ain't gettin' none of this."
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