Been Out Of College Too Long When...

You know you've been out of college too long when...


- Your potted plants stay alive.


- Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.


- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.


- 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.


- You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.


- You carry an umbrella.


- You watch the Weather Channel.


- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.


- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.


- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."


- You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door don't know how to turn down the stereo.


- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.


- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.


- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.


- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.


- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.


- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.


- Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning
of one.


- MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.


- You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.


- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."


- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.


- Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese, Diet Pepsi
and Ho-ho's.


- "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never
going to drink that much again."


- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.


- You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going
to a bar.


- It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.