Walks up to the bar and orders a drink. Bartender recognizes the man and gets him a round of his usual. He gives him his drink and says to the pirate, "How are you doing old friend? If you don't mind me asking, what happened with your leg? You had two good legs last time you were in here."
Pirate: "Well unfortunately I happen to be walking the poop deck one day and caught my leg in a hole in the boards. But, the doc fixed me up with a nice peg here. I'm fine!"
Bartender: "Well that's all well and good but what happened to your hand? Last time you were in here you had drinks in both."
Pirate: "My crew mates and I happen to get involved with another ship and as I was fighting the wretched sailor caught me right at the wrist. But once again the doc fixed me up with a nice hook. I'm fine!"
Bartender: "These are both some truly rough injuries. However, I must know what happened to your eye?"
Pirate: "It was a nice sunny morning and as I look up to check the clouds, a bird shat right in my eye."
Bartender: "Then what's the reason for the patch? A shat in the eye won't make you blind."
Pirate: "Ar, it was my first day with the hook."
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