A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer

to “Where do pets come from?”

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day.

Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult
for us to remember how much you love us.”

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and
who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when
you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be,
this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of
yourselves.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve, and he wagged his
tail.

And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom,
and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”

And God said, ” I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my
love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
DOG.”
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
“Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks
and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that
they are loved, but perhaps too well.”

And God said, “I will create for them a companion who will be with them
and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations,
so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not
obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they
were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.