A man walks into a bar...(X-Post /r/BDP)

One day, a bartender put up a sign on his door that read "If you can make my horse laugh, I'll give you a free beer."
A guy walked in and said, "I'd like to try," so the bartender showed him to the horse's stall out back and let him in. The bartender went back to the bar and waited until the man came back and said "He's laughing. Where's my beer?"
The bartender was surprised and went back to check. Sure enough the horse was laughing, so he gave the man a free beer. The bartender asked, "How did you do that?"
The man said, "It's my secret,'' then left to drink his beer.
The next day, the bartender saw that his horse was laughing non-stop and was beginning to irritate him. Frustrated, he put up a sign saying, "If you can make the horse cry, I'll give you two free beers."
The same man walked in and said, "I'd like to try," so the bartender showed him to the horse stall again and went back to the bar to wait.
The man came back and, sure enough, said, "The horse is crying. Give me my free beers." The bartender, surprised yet again, went back to the stall to check and found that the horse was indeed crying.
The bartender told the man, "Before I give you your beer you have to tell me how in the world you did that."
The man said, "First, I told the horse my dick was bigger than his...
...then I showed it to him."