He looks around and sees the doctor coming up to him. He says, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will be able to walk again without rehabilitation. The bad news is that due to the severity of the accident, we have had to remove your penis. The insurance company has paid out £10,000 and luckily we can insert a new penis for you, however there are some things to consider. Each inch costs £1000, so you need to think; do you want a smaller penis which may risk in you not being able to satisfy your wife, or would you consider having a larger penis which, in turn, could end up putting her off of any sorts of sexual activity? Go home tonight and discuss this with your wife and come back tomorrow with your decision."
So the man goes home and discusses with his wife. The next day the man goes back to the hospital and the doctor says, "So did you decide what you're doing with the £10,000?"
The man responds, "Yeah, we're getting marble kitchen tops."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.