A man hears a knock at his front door

he rises from his seat on the couch to answer it. When he opens the door, though, there on his porch, sits a snail dressed in salesperson-getup.

"Good day, sir," says the snail, "would you mind if I showed you my merchandise?"

"Fuck off," replies the man as he slams the door.

As he turns back towards his couch, he hears a knock on the door again. He opens the door and looks down at the snail. When the sales-snail open his mouth to speak, the man rears back and kicks the solicitor off his front stoop.

"That's more like it," he mutters to himself as he closes the door.

10 years later, the aged man hears a knock at his front door. He rises from his seat on the couch to answer it. He opens the door to find a snail on his porch.

"Fuck you, asshole," says the snail.