A man goes to hell. He is walking around solemnly, staring at the ground, when the devil comes over and asks him what is wrong.

"I'm just really bummed out that I ended up in hell, you know? It's such an awful place."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad" the devil said. "Say, do you like to drink liquor?"

"Yea, I used to drink all the time when I was alive."

"Well, we have every kind of liquor down here, and Mondays it's all you can drink!"

The man started to cheer up.

"Do you like to smoke?"

"Sure."

"Well, we spend all day Tuesday smoking! Whatever you want, all day. Do you like to gamble?"

"Absolutely!"

"Well, Wednesday is our casino day. We spend the whole day gambling!"

"Wow, this sounds great" the man said.

"See it's not so bad down here. Now tell me, do you like being sodomized?"

"Oh... no, not at all."

"Well, you're not going to like Thursdays."