A hungover guy at the bar...

tells the bartender he is going to quit drinking.

The bartender says: "You're my best customer. Why?"

The guy says "Remember how much I drank last night? I went home and blew chunks three times"

The bartender doesn't want to lose his best customer. He says "That's no big deal. See Jim Duft over there? Last night he drank a ton. And he didn't walk like you, he drove. On the way home he hit the power sub station and no one in the neighborhood had electricity. So he tried to cook on the grill and burned his deck down. Then he tried to make himself a bath but drank the vanilla in the spice cabinet, passed out in the front lawn naked, and flooded his whole house. That guy was drunk."

The hungover guy says "I don't think you get it, Chunks is my dog"

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.