A dog howling and a woman moaning...

... wake a drunk man passed out in an Irish pub. "What the devil is that wailing?" The drunk asks the bartender.

"Oh, that's just my dog Bessie in the cellar and my grandmum upstairs. The poor bitch broke her tooth chewing on a bone... I'll have to take her to the veterinarian... and the old crone is just moaning in her sleep." The bartender laughs. "She probably just needs a good shag."

The drunk staggers to his feet. "Bad tooth pulled... shag... I'm your man for both jobs."

Before the bartender can protest, the drunk runs down to the cellar. The howling stops, followed by a few minutes of "Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!"

The drunk man returns, gasping for breath.

"Okay, one job done. Now where's the old lady with the toothache?"

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