A collection of OC jokes!

Well I hope they're funny, anyway. The past few months I've been writing down anything that seems vaguely amusing to me. I imagine that some of them might be already-existing jokes without knowing it, but I hope you enjoy!

* I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down. In hindsight, I think it was a mist opportunity.
* What vegetable likes to wait around in lines? Queuecumbers
* What's a pensioner's favourite genre of music? Hip-op
* I decided to drink something from a scientist's test tube. It tasted vial.
* Why did the artist visit the bank? To draw some money.
* What's the best thing about walking through a friendly forest? All the pleasantrees
* I was going to make a joke about alcoholism, but I decided against it because I thought it'd be a bit too whiskey.
* how do you greet the world's cleanest woman? "Hi, Jean".
* I got kicked out of the wig shop because I didn't want toupee.
* I bought an album called "Sounds of the Railway", but I didn't like any of the tracks
* I tried to get into the Guinness Book of Records by smashing up music albums. I broke a lot of records.
* Why were there clouds at the theatre production? Because it had been over cast.
* I used to have a job testing the durability of trainers. You might think that sounds easy, but it was sole-destroying work...
* Did you hear about the fellow who went insane trying to clear his sinuses? He ended up in a menthol hospital
* I used to be obsessed with going to the bank. I'm trying to stop but I have withdrawal symptoms...
* Why did the eagle go to church? Because it's a bird of pray.
* Where do fish go to earn a degree? Tunaversity.
* Someone suggested I should grow my hair down the back of my head. I wasn't keen on the idea, but I told them I'd mullet over.
* I watched a movie documentary about the history of tea exports, it was rated PG tips.
* Who stands outside the toddler nightclub? Baby bouncers.
* I have a very special type of dog - it was cross-bred with a vegetable. It's a border cauliflower
* What happened to the last aftershave in the cupboard? It felt colognely
* What do you inject into a suit to make it look bigger? Bowtux.



Bonus jokes that I didn't think were very good but decided to include anyway!!!!

* I had a dinner cooked by Dr. Who. It tasted dalektable (like... delectable)
* What do you call a sour supervisor? A lime manager.
* What food keeps you warm on a cold day? Fajitas... (like uh, fa-heaters...)
* What's the funniest type of cereal? A muesli (like... amuse-li?)
* The Bow and Arrow is an excellent weapon, with one drawback.
* Gambling can be very dangerous, if roulette it take over your life.
* What do you call a boring, unoriginal piece of fruit? A banalna.
* What do you call a piece of fruit that doesn't really matter? Not applic-apple.