"You take things too literally!"

'You take things too literally!" my friend Digby jokingly tells me at lunch after fourth period English. "But I like it," he says. "It makes you quirky and unique!"

"I think you're right, Digby," I calmly say as I take his sandwich from his lunch box and start eating it. "It was a good sandwich, Digby, but just add some more olives next time."

"What?" Digby whines. "That's not what I meant! Now my sandwich is gone, and I'm left with one apple!"

"My bad, Digby," I say. "I know that's not what you meant."

I then grab the apple from his hands and start eating it. "It was a good apple, Digby, but I actually prefer Granny Smith over Red Delicious."

"You took my apple!" he roars. "Why on earth did you do that?"

"Well, Digby," I explain, "you say you like it when I take things literally, so I first took your sandwich."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Exactly, my friend! I soon realized it, too. The sandwich is only one thing, and you say you like it when I take *things* literally. Since 'things' is plural, and plural means 'more than one', I had to take your apple. A sandwich and an apple are two things, and two is greater than one. I'm sorry for not noticing this mistake earlier!"

(Digby executes a pacefalm.)