You Know Your Getting Older When...

- You and your teeth don't sleep together.


- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and
discover you aren't wearing any.


- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're
not eating cereal.


- Your back goes out, but you stay home.


- You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.


- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.


- Happy hour is a nap.


- You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money
does.


- You say something to your kids that your mother said to you,
and you always hated it.


- You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on
your head the whole time.


- You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.


- All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your
age.


- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.


- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.


- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.


- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.


- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.


- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.


- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.


- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.


- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.


- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't
care anymore.