YOU KNOW YOU WORK IN CORPORATE AMERICA IF ...

YOU KNOW YOU WORK IN CORPORATE AMERICA IF ...


You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies


Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro


Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket


Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um


You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes


When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie


You get really excited about a 2% pay raise


You learn about your layoff on CNN


Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes


You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet


Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined


You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive


It's dark when you drive to and from work


Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else


Communication is something your group is having problems with


You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor


Free food left over from meetings is your main staple


Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home


Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital


Art involves a white board


You're already late on the assignment you just got


You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"


Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers


Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up"


Your boss' second favorite lines are, "...this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."


Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it, or you get a check for it every January


Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"


Change is the norm


The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cube


You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting


You read this entire list and understood it.