xbox one is really a pain in my ass aka endless problems

I got a xbox one for my birthday I turn it on and the controller WON'T turn on "WHAT A GOOD START" NOT after that small problem a new problem come and kicks me in the balls so hard I hit my head I need the internet just to get pass the set up screen it took one day to find some Wifi after that it update for 2 and half hours then the problem I stuck on for one mother fucking week ONE WHOLE FUCKING WEEK JUST GET FUCKING PASS IT I need no I HAVE TO SIGN THE FUCK UP MY ASS TO MICROSOFT IT'S THE REASON WHY I'M HERE IT'S BECAUSE......my made a gmail account. yep. pretty stupid yeah but I did that just for a Microsoft account I got the account but GOOD NEWS I got a FUCK YOU sign thats "Hi faggot you are blocked because you are a fucking idiot sign Bill Gates" and today I reset my password "that the real reason why I blocked" so it over for now....here is a random joke if this is not funny: http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/4425600.jpg