What I've Learned So Far

This is a list of what I have learned so far in my life:

1.) Always smile. It makes adults wonder what you're up to.

2.) Golf is no longer a rich man's sport. There are millions of poor players.

3.) If at first you DO succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

4.) It takes a thousand nuts and bolts to put a car together, yet just one nut to scatter it all over the road.

5.) NEVER play leapfrog with a unicorn.

6.) NEVER ask your dad to help you with your math homework, unless you want a 4-hour lecture.

7.) When things look black, send them to the laundry.

8.) Be tolerant of those who disagree with you. After all, they're entitled to their stupid opinions!