What if the Super Tuesday results were actual soups?

Alabama • 53 delegates
The Democrats here elevated a classic cream of mushroom, picking mostly Hen of the Woods while the overwhelming majority of Republicans here insisted on drinking the Kool-Aid, even though the beverage is technically not a soup in any way.
Arkansas • 32 delegates
The Republicans were presented with a fountain of hot spring water, in which a small ham was placed. They were very proud of their ingenuity. A consomé of edamame was most popular among the Democrats, however a few faithfully subsisted on some muscadines they tried to grow in office.
Alaska • 28 delegates
Republicans flip flopped around in a Shark Fin Soup but we have to wait until March 26th to know how the Democrats prefer their Ceviche.
Colorado • 66 delegates
All of the soup in Colorado is excellent, no jokes here. The Democrats were going to make the best decision and they did. By the time July rolls around, the Republicans’ soup will old and smelly in the fridge and it will probably not be edible.
Georgia • 102 delegates
The Republican party had more ham but the FCC might be fining $1000 for failure to identify what animals they actually ate. The chickenhawk & dumplings was the Democratic favorite.
Massachusetts • 91 delegates
Democrats came up with a neat idea to use razor clams in a New England chowder but they settled on a she-crab soup instead. Republicans gobbled the guk.
Minnesota • 77 delegates
In a refreshing change for Republican diners, Ajiaco was the crowd favorite while Democrats feasted on Lutefisk.
Oklahoma • 38 delegates
While the state is still searching for its signature soup, Republicans went with a prociutto-wrapped jelly donut. The bacon end got burnt, and the belly came up on top. For the Democrats, it was a Coffee Party USA, they swept in on a wind Dean Dozen of the plain, cake donuts- the best of the donuts.
Tennessee • 67 delegates
A coalition was formed to procure a spread of country hams for the Republicans. Diners preferred the taste of animals that were willing to be slaughtered. Sanders supporters got tired of soup too so they started pouring bourbon to accompany neglected goo goos clusters while the majority of the Democrats imagined a future of lame duck soup noodles in a blue bowl.
Texas • 222 delegates
Lunch pail democrats we’re not pleased with their party’s decision to go with Mrs. Grass as the golden nugget has been discontinued. Republicans opted for their shelf staple, Campbell’s Chunky Barbecue Seasoned Pork.
Vermont • 16 delegates
The grassroots vegetable soup stole the show on the Democratic menu here. In a Frankenfood alternative, Republicans opted for the Government cheddar cheese dip.
Virginia • 95 delegates
Democrats decided to start smoking, they thought it was more enjoyable than than eating too much. The Republican party obviously decided to split up a Virginia ham, but there was a hair in it. There you go again.