What doctors really thinking?

- This should be taken care of right away.”

I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.


- “Welllllll, what have we here…?”

He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.


- “Let me check your medical history.”

I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.


- “We have some good news and some bad news.”

The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.


- “Let me schedule you for some tests.”

I have a forty percent interest in the lab.


- “I’d like to have my associate look at you.”

He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.


- “I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”

I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.


- “This may hurt a little.”

Last week two patients bit off their tongues.


- “This should fix you up.”

The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.


- “I’d like to run some more tests.”

I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.


- “There is a lot of that going around.”

My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.

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