The Pig-Fucker Joke (NSFW)

So this guy breeds exceptionally rare, prized pigs, pigs that people from across the world seek to acquire.

One day, as he was sailing with a group of pigs to over-sea market, a nasty storm rolled in. His ship capsizes, and the man wakes up on the shore of a desert island with only one pig, and his trusty doberman, who was sailing with them. The man adapts, survives, etc. Fishes with a spear, makes fire, builds his own hut, purifies his own water, and feeds his four-legged friends, etc. Cast Away style and shit.

After a few months the man starts to get a little *lonely.* The pig is starting to look pretty good -- that soft, pink flesh, that nice, round ass... those thin, wiry, blonde hair strands.

So one day he's gazing into the eyes of his beautiful pig. He pets his pig. He then begins to grope his pig. One thing leads to another, and soon enough, the man is inside of his pig, performing smooth, insidious thrusts. In the heat of his moment, the man's doberman starts biting at his ankle, trying to wrangle him around.

"AH SHIT!" the man yells, kicks the dog, and begins to nurse his injury.

Days later, Dog's out on the beach digging a hole or whatever... chasing crabs and shit. The man is yet again alone with his pig and starts to feel that urge.

He goes over to the pig, double-checks to see his dog preoccupied, and starts railing this pig. Sure enough, the second he looks down, there's his fucking trusty doberman again, gnawing his leg.

"GAH! DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK???" He screams, kicks some sand at the dog, and wraps up his ankle with some leaves.

Next day, man sees his dog playing with a stick.

Thinks, "Hm... dog+stick..."

Takes the stick, and throws it as far as he can into the jungle. Dog bolts into the trees in pursuit of the stick.

"AIN'T NO DOG GONNA FIND NO STICK IN NO JUNGLE! HA! HA! HA!" he says, running for his pig. He plops down on his knees behind Pig, and gets back to business.

Amongst his passion, the man recognizes a burning pain in his lower leg. He detaches from his piggy fantasies to see the doberman teeth-deep into his ankle yet again, blood all over the goddamn place.

"OH GOD DAMMIT PISS!" He dresses his wounds, and then in overwhelming frustration, the man collapses for a nap.

The next day the man is staring into the horizon, when he sees a ship. He looks closer only to notice that there is a figure atop the ship, a woman. Not only is she a woman, but a *drop-dead gorgeous* woman.

So Dude swims out there Baywatch style, saves the woman just as the ship sinks below the surface, and brings her back to his island. She's completely unconscious.

He finally revives her and she says to him, "Oh my god thank you so much! You saved my life!! I wish there was something I could do to repay you! Oh! Anything, I'll do anything!"

So, Dude thinks for a minute and says: "Well... you wanna take my dog for a walk?"