* Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the
sound to others.
* Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny
to you?"
* Consistently write three atoms of potassium as 'KKK.'
* Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
* When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
* Deny the existence of chemicals.
* Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the
way he/she says it.
* Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. Especially
effective for female students.
* Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour
the sulfuric acid.
* Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in
federal buildings.
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