War Story

One day in the 3rd grade, the teacher has the class study Aesop's Fables when she decided to have the kids come up and tell a story with a moral at the end.

The first dozen kids all cribbed from Aesop himself, a few others from the Bible, even had a few from Buddha. But by the time it was Johnny Walter's turn, all the good stories had been taken. So Johnny would just have to think for himself on this one.

Little Johnny walks up to the class and says the following:

"My grandpa flew jets in the Korean War. He even won a medal for it once. He had intercepted some Chinese fighters near his base, got in to a giant dog fight with 6 of them. Shot 2 down near his base, then followed the other 4 as they ran away. Ol Gramps was upset, so when they crossed in to enemy territory he didn't pay it any mind. He shot down 1 more of the enemy MiGs before one managed to shoot his wing off, so gramps had to bail out.

On the parachute ride down, he had 2 flasks full of whiskey, a six shooter and a knife. He chugged the two flasks of whiskey as fast as he could while he was floating down to the ground, after that he took his six shooter and fired it a few times, managing to kill the son of a bitch who'd shot him down.

When he got down to the ground, he used the last few bullets to shoot some Korean soldiers who tried to take him prisoner, then he used his knife to make a man give him his truck after he cut his balls off so he could escape back to his base. "

"Wow, Johnny" said his teacher "That's a very amazing story, but I'm not sure I get what the moral of it is."

"Oh" Johnny said, almost forgetting to add "Don't fuck with grandpa after he's been drinking"