Voodoo Dick

[NSFW]

A husband whose wife is notorious for cheating on him while he is away on business is at his wits end with the whole thing.

He loves his wife dearly, and explained to her that this cannot continue. He has a long trip coming up soon and knows that she is going to cheat on him if he doesn't do something. So he has decided to purchase her a female masterbatory aid to stop her cheating ways.

After explaining all of this to his wife, she tells him that she is extremely excited at the idea and urges him to go and pick out something for her.

As he is scanning the dildo wall of his local porn store he shakes his head and clearly not finding anything he thinks she would like, he turns to leave.

However, the Jamaican man behind the counter stops him.

"Oy! Come down o'r here boy. Me thinks I be havin sum tin you want."

The Husband, caught off guard walks over to the counter as the fellow places a simple wooden box on the counter and flops it open.

Inside is a rather plain average sized dildo. The husbands face contorts with disbelief and meets the Jamaican mans gaze.

"What's so special about this one? That one on the wall over there is 24 inches." He explains, gesturing behind him.

The shop keep smiles and speaks in a low tone.

"Dis, be da Voodoo dick mon. You tell de dick what to do. And it do it."

The husband lets out a laugh. "Yeah, sure it does." He shakes his head and turns to leave.

"Stop!" The Jamaican says. "I be showing you! Voodoo dick! Fuck the doll!" The shop keep points at one of the several full sized sex dolls propped up against one wall.

To the husbands amazement, the dildo leaps out of the box, floats over to the doll and begins fucking it.

The husbands jaw drops open as he can't believe what he is seeing. "I'll take it!" He exclaims and quickly pulls out his credit card "How much?"

After a few minutes of negotiation the man pays. The Shop keeper leans in close as he hands him his receipt.

"One mor ting mon. You haf to be tellin the Voodoo Dick 'back in your box' or it not be stopping. The man nods.

"Voodoo Dick! Back in your box!" He says, and the dildo stops fucking the doll, floats over and lands in its box. The man is over joyed.

Back at his house the husband explains his shopping experience with his wife who nods and smiles eagerly during the entire exchange. He tells her everything except how to "turn it off", then rushed out of the house to catch his flight.

A few days later the wife, feeling extremely frisky. Starts thinking of all of the men should can call over to quench her appetite when she remembers the Voodoo Dick.

So figuring she has nothing to loose, she gets undressed, grabs the box with the dildo in it, opens it and says; "Voodoo Dick! Fuck my pussy."

The dildo leaps to obey.

After throughly enjoying herself, the wife decides she has had enough and reaches down to stop the dildo from continuing, yet it does not cease.

She begins to panic. Try as she might, she simply cannot get the thing to stop pounding her. Having no other options, she dons a heavy trench coat and rushed out to her car, with the intention of driving to the hospital.

On the way, Voodoo Dick is still going at it. Causing the wife to swerve occasionally whenever another orgasm strikes her.

Seeing the erratic driving a cop flips on his lights and chased the wife down. Pulling her over the cop asks what's going on? The wife, still being drilled by Voodoo Dick tries to explain the whole thing.

The cop shakes his head and says; "Yeah right. Voodoo Dick my ass!"


Not my joke. But funny! :)

As per usual, I uploaded in my phone. Sorry for horrible grammar.