Types of Men Pissers

Absent Minded: Opens his vest, pulls out his tie, and pisses in his pants.


Clever: Uses no hands, shows off by fixing tie with both hands, looks around for admiration, and sometimes ends up pissing on the floor and onto his shoes.


Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on the left, pisses into the one in the center, and flushes the one on the right.


Desperate: Waits in a long time, teeth floating and feet shuffling. Starts to piss as he walks up to urinal but before he can unzip himself. Lets out a long groan and grunt as he finally gets to relieve himself.


Disgruntled: Stands for a while, grunts, gives up, and walks away.


Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand and pisses into his pants.


Easily induced: Any thought, mention, sight, or slosh of a liquid, from sipping coffee to a runny nose, causes bladder to immediately signal full condition.


Efficient: Waits until he has to crap, then does both at once.


Erect: Either because his bladder is full or he just saw a sexy woman, his penis is so erect that he must thrust his buttocks backward a bit to be able to pull his member out of his pants. Gets pubic hair caught up in his zipper.


Excitable: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find the hole, and ends up ripping his shorts or jamming the zipper into his shirttail.


Flashy: Tells loud jokes while pissing; shakes off drops with a great flourish.


Frivolous: Plays stream up and down and across the urinal. Likes to see how many bubbles he can make froth up. Tries to hit and sink the cigarette floating around in the water. Has never really grown up.


Indifferent: If all the urinals are being used, he goes into a toilet stall to piss. If all the toilet stalls are taken also, he pisses into the sink or garbage can.


Little: Stands on a box to piss into the urinal, falls in, drowns.


Nosey: Looks into the next urinal to compare himself with the other guy's organ.


Patient: Stands very close for a long time waiting, reading the paper with his free hand.


Playful: Spots a friend's shoes under the divider wall and redirects aim accordingly.


Scientific: Backs up from the urinal to take a long shot, misses, and pisses on shoes.


Slob: Does not bother to flush urinal after using it, drips all over his shoes and pants when zipping himself back up, and does not bother to wash hands as he leaves with his fly undone. Usually has to adjust his balls afterwards as he is sitting down.


Sneak: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, and knows that the man next to him will be blamed.


Sociable: Joins friends in piss whether he has to go or not.


Timid: Cannot urinate if someone is watching, pretends to, and then flushes the urinal as if he has already used it. Sneaks back in once everyone has left the restroom.


Tough: Bangs dick against side of urinal to dry it.


Worried: Is not sure of what he has been into lately and makes a quick inspection.