Two young men are conscripted into the army

Two young men are conscripted into the army and upon registering they decide to fail their physical exam and have all their teeth removed.
The two young men go to the army doctors office where they change into gowns to be examined. Between them is also a big bloke dressed in a gown and awaiting the doctor.
The doctor comes in and approaches the first young man;
"Whats wrong with you then"
" I gup mo teef"
"Got no teeth?" says the Doctor "Well, open wide and let me have a look."
The young man opens his mouth and the doctor sticks his finger in and moves it around the young man's mouth.
"Hmm, yes. You can't go to war without any teeth so I'm sorry but I will have to fail your physical exam".
The first young man smiles and is relieved that he wont have to go to war.
"Whats wrong with you then" The doctor asks the big bloke.
"I've got piles"
"Well, turn around lets have a look"
The doctor then feels along the big blokes ass for piles with the same hand that he had just used in the young mans mouth.
"Hmm, yes. Well we can't have you go to war in your condition, I'm sorry but I'll have to fail your physical"
The doctor takes his finger out of the burly blokes rectum and approaches the last young man.
"Now, whats wrong with you son?" asks the Doctor.
"Muffing. Muffing at all"