Two weary travelers walk into a tavern..

Two men weary from the road stumbled into a tavern late one evening. They asked the tavern owner if there were any rooms in town.

"No. Not a one. But I remember my youthful days traveling and ill be willing to let you stay upstairs in a spare room, but my daughter sleeps upstairs as well and if either of you even touch her ill blow your fucking heads off." he said flashing them a glimpse of a shotgun from behind the bar.

Exhausted and unable to go any further the 2 men eagerly agreed. When morning came the owners daughter raced to her father exclaiming "Daddy! Last night one of them snuck into my room and fondled my breasts! But I don't know which one because it was so dark!"

The two men coward as the owner brandished his shotgun. "Which one of you did it?!" The two men begged and pleaded, both denying the violation. The owner, being known about town for his twisted sense if humor pulls two $100 bills from his register and hands one bill to each man. Confused and scared they took it.

"There's a farmers market up the road. I want each if you to go there and buy $100 worth if your favorite fruit and bring it back here. If you don't come back ill track you down and kill you where you stand!"

The two men, scared and confused, raced out the door to the market. The first man returned with an overflowing barrel of big juicy strawberries.

"Now drop your drawers and starts ramming those strawberries up your ass! Violate my daughter and ill make ya violate yourself!" The owner barked.

The man timidly did as he was told. After about 10 minutes he begins laughing uncontrollably. "You're shoving fruit up your own ass and its funny?!" the owner asked.

"No. I see my friend coming and he bought a barrel of watermelons!"