Magic Dildo

A married man was about to go out of town for a business trip and he wanted to make sure his wife wouldn't cheat on him while he was away. He went to an adult toy store and looked around, not finding anything he thought would keep her satisfied, so he went to the man behind the counter and explained his situation.
"I think I have just the thing," the man said and he went through a curtain into a back room and came out with a very old wooden box.
"Inside this box there is a Magic Dildo. It will give your wife many orgasms and you won't have to worry about her straying. All she has to do is call out 'Magic Dildo: my pussy!' and it will go to work. When she is done, the words 'Magic Dildo: your box!' will turn it off."
"Perfect!" the man thought and quickly bought it, brought it home to his wife, and left on his business trip.

While at home it doesn't take long for his wife to get the urge so she undresses, goes to the box and says the magic words. Sure enough, the Magic Dildo comes alive and gives the wife the best sex she has ever experienced. She has multiple orgasms and the Dildo never gets tired. The wife, however, does and is ready to rest when she realizes her husband never told her how to make it stop. She tries her best to pull the blasted thing out of herself but no matter what she does she can't get it out. Getting very worried, the Dildo still going at it, she manages to get dressed and get in the car to go to the hospital. While driving she is all over the road, swerving and hitting the curbs and a police officer, seeing her and thinking she is drunk, pulls her over.
"Have you been drinking tonight, ma'am?" he asks her.
"Thank God you're here, officer!" the wife exclaims and, panting, explains her terrible situation. The officer, thinking that this is definitely the most creative way he's heard of someone trying to get out of a ticket, bends down, looks at her and sneers,
"Psh. Magic Dildo, my ass!"