Two-Cow Explanation

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give
one to your neighbor.


A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor.


A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So
what?


A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the
tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a
cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.


A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk.


A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a
campaign of sabotage.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government
taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in
a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
your government.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy
a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government
takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, then pours the milk down the drain.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and
force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when the cow drops dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.


A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so
they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know
where they are. You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and
learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you
don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.


A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs
to you. You charge for storing them for others.


A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000
cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.