Two Australian men are in the Outback to survey land that they'll build a mine on. Suddenly, one of the men screams out in pain, and his friend runs over to him.
"What the hell happened mate?"
"That bloody snake over there bit me on the dong!" The man points to a rattlesnake some ways away.
"Well, no worries, I'll just call up the doc and see what to do."
So the guy takes out his phone, calls a doctor, and tells him about the snake that bit his friend.
The doctor replies, "Yes, I'm afraid that snake you've just described is very venomous. Your friend will die if you don't help him immediately."
"Alright, what do I have to do?" the man asks.
"Well what you want to do is make an incision on the wound and suck out all the poison."
So the man thanks the doctor and goes back to his friend.
"So what did the doc say?" asks his friend.
"You're gonna die mate."
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Old joke I heard that I thought was funny. Sorry if I butchered it too much.
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