Tom dies and wakes up in a strange place.

He looks around and sees beautiful surroundings, as if he's at a 5 star resort.

A man in a red outfit walks up to him and says, "Hey buddy, welcome to Hell! I'm the Devil!"

Tom looks around, confused. "Um...I didn't think this was going to be what hell looks like?"

The Devil says, "Oh, those bible thumpers on Earth are always giving this place a bad name. This place is great! We have different stuff going on all the time. All that stuff they tell you is a sin. Like today's Monday. You like to drink, right?"

Tom says, "Yeah, I like to drink..."

The Devil says, "You're gonna love Mondays. Monday is drinking day! You can drink and drink, get completely wasted, and the next day you wake up, no hangover, nothing! You like to eat, right?"

Tom starts to get more excited. He says, "Yeah I like to eat!"

The Devil says, "You're going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is food day! We got these great chefs and they make tons of great food. You eat and eat, stuff yourself like a glutton, and you never gain weight! You like drugs, right?"

"Hell yeah!" says Tom.

"Man, I tell ya, you're gonna love Wednesdays. Wednesday is drug day. Any drug you want, as much as you want, you can get completely fucked up and it doesn't matter because you're dead! Hey, you like getting fucked in the ass, right?"

Tom says, "Uh- no....."

The Devil says, "Ohhhhh- you're gonna hate Thursdays..."